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Holding My Mother’s Hand

As a small child, I loved holding my mom’s hand. It was the safety, security, and love that I wish every child could experience. The familiarity of her hand provided comfort, even though I didn’t understand it at the time. I always knew my hand was welcome in hers. I belonged right there, joined at the hand with her. I was hers and she was mine and we were both so happy about that simple, unspoken fact.

The days of hand holding with mothers is way too short. It gradually slips away in the growing up, the busyness of life, and the necessary pulling away from dependence to independence that happens to us all. It’s meant to be this way. It’s good when parents raise children who can fly on their own.

Adulthood yawns wide and engulfs so many years of not holding hands with our mothers. For some, their mothers die too young and hand holding only happens on death beds.

But I’m one of the lucky ones whose mother has lived into old age.

Mom is 87 and we’ve been holding hands everywhere we go for a few years now. Her eyesight isn’t good and I need to tell her when there’s a step up or down. I hold her hand to make sure she’s safe, secure, and hopefully, so she’ll know she’s helplessly loved. And all the while, my heart remembers the many times she held my young hand for the same reasons.

She sometimes fears she’s a burden, too much work, or simply an inconvenience. Nothing could be further from the truth. She’s my blessing, my treasure, my lifeline to everything that matters most.

So we’ll walk hand in hand all the remaining days of her life. I pray there are many more years of her hand in mine, mine in hers, a mutual giving and receiving of life’s most precious gifts.

When You Need to Refresh Your Spirit

I felt depleted. You know? While I absolutely loved taking care of all the things, I was tired. Deep down spirit exhausted. Not exactly depressed, but dry, right down to my soul. So what did I do? More importantly, what can YOU do when you feel that way?

Honestly? I did whatever I wanted. I know, I know. That sounds terribly self-centered. And it was. That was the point. After more than thirty years of parenting and looking after everyone else’s needs, I decided it was time to look after myself for a while. Time to figure out this season of life and what I wanted it to look like.

I quit writing and started a home-based business selling children’s books. What a joy it was to sell children’s books that I didn’t have to write myself! No deadlines or plotlines to figure out. It was a great mental break from writing and was just the thing for me. Until it wasn’t.

I also went on a mission trip to Kenya, Africa. That was an adventure way out of my comfort zone and God met me there in amazing ways. My spirit was refreshed in the new scenery, culture, people, and worship of our awesome God. But after being home a month or two, I still felt weary.

So I quit my home business. I quit teaching Sunday school. I started reading for pleasure every day. I visited my best friend in another state. I made individual dates with my grandchildren. I had lunch with friends. I took naps whenever I felt tired. I listened to my first audio book. I caught up on household chores I’d put off. I determined not to feel guilty about not doing all the things I used to do and congratulated myself for taking time to do the things I wanted to do.

Gradually, I felt my creative spark come to life. I actually started cooking again, which is nothing short of a miracle, because I usually hate cooking. I enjoyed trying new recipes and finally learned to use my Instant Pot. Eventually, I started thinking like a writer again. I’d have internal conversations with myself and think, That would make a good blog post. I began teaching a young adult Sunday school class, a much better fit for my personality and this stage of my life. In short, I did the things that brought me the most joy and left out the things that didn’t.

Which brings me to today. Communicating and encouraging others through written words is my jam. I’m determined not to set myself up for stress with it this time around. I will fit it around my life, not fit my life around it. I’m so happy to be here with you again.

Do me a favor? Take care of yourself. Take care of your spirit and your inner self. Don’t burn yourself out. Take time to do the things you love with the people you love. Make time to connect or reconnect with God. It’s what matters most. Don’t let your lack of perfection stop you, as I often have. For instance, my website is in dire need of updating and my non-techy self can’t figure out how to do it. Sigh. Even though the entire website isn’t perfect, I can still blog because it gives me joy. And you can do whatever it is that brings you joy, even if it isn’t perfect. Just do it.

So tell me in the comments, how do you refresh your spirit when you get soul weary? Get out in nature? Spend time alone? Reach out to others? Maybe your comment will give another soul weary traveler the breath of inspiration they need.

Silent, Slow Mornings

I like to start my mornings slow. Just me and the silence of the house, still dark outside and dark inside, until I flip on a light. I brew my cup of coffee and splash in a wave of sugar-free hazelnut creamer. Strawberries and blueberries fill my bowl and I top it with half heavy whipping cream and half hazelnut creamer.

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Dear High School Senior

Dear High School Senior,

By now you’re in your last few months of high school and people are asking you what you’re going to do next. Some of you know the answer with a certainty that goes clear to your bones. But some of you are asking yourself, What AM I going to do next?

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God’s Anticipation

It’s Christmas Eve and I’m imagining God’s anticipation 2000 years ago on that night that changed everything. This was the day.! Today God would become a Father to his very own Son. (Weird to think of God having a new experience. ) But even more than that, God was initiating his rescue plan. He loved his creation fiercely, especially humankind. But they had so many problems, all stemming from the same one. Sin. It began with the first couple and had only gotten worse. And now today–today!–was the day he would put his plan in motion to save them from themselves. How he hoped they’d recognize his Son for who he was.

But they didn’t.  And many still don’t.

Today I’ll reflect on God’s anticipation of this Advent, the coming of his Son, the best gift ever given. Jesus is  a lifeline, a friend, a brother. I pray you’ll accept him as your rescuer,  as God intended him to be. Unwrap the gift.

Merry Christmas!


Our Own Version of Fame

My husband, Rollin, reading Scripture to his dad.

I recently read a post that talked about fame. In it were these two quotes: “The human soul isn’t made for fame,” and “I’ve never met a famous person who wouldn’t be a better version of themselves if they weren’t famous.”

So why do so many people strive for fame?

As I write this today, my 94-year-old father-in-law lies dying in a hospital bed in Minnesota. He’s a quiet, reserved man with a huge heart full of love and faith. There’s never been any fanfare or fame to his life. Apparently, there never will be. But that doesn’t mean he wasn’t famous.

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I Give Up

I give up. I surrender. That can sometimes be a bad thing, but in my case it’s not. I’m gradually simplifying my life. I’m giving up things that no longer bring me joy or serve God in the way I feel He’s leading me. That can be a scary process in some ways. In some cases it means giving up some things that have formed my identify. Not an easy thing to do.

Here are a few of the things I’m parting with.

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Weeding Out Toys – A Summertime Activity

At our house, by summertime, we always had too many toys. Between birthdays, Christmas and maybe a few random purchases, the toy box would be overflowing. What to do? We started every summer with weeding out the toys. It was kind of like a beginning of summer game. Here’s how we did it.

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Listen to Your Heart

I usually find it fairly easy to listen to my heart. But doing what it tells me sometimes comes a little harder. The last year or so has been a productive time in my life. But with productivity comes busyness, which has led to weariness. Lately, now that all the projects and transitions and changes are nearly through, my heart is whispering to me to rest.

I love hearing it, because that’s exactly what I feel like doing. But still, it rubs against what the world tries to tell me I should do. Will I be perceived as lazy? Lacking purpose? Unproductive?

Maybe. But does that even matter?

Lately, I’ve been carving out time for an afternoon rest. I may nap, play a mindless computer game, crochet, or read. If my favorite team is playing during the day, I may even watch the game on TV. I’m finding that when I give myself some rest time, I am far more productive overall. My soul needs that breather so my mind can think more clearly and I can do the things I need to with renewed energy. I don’t set a specific time limit on my rest. I just get back to work whenever I feel ready.

Obviously, not everyone has that luxury, especially if you work for someone else or have children clamoring for your attention. I understand. I’ve been there, too. But if you can find even a few minutes to clear your mind in whatever way works best for you, do it.

Listen to your heart. Do what it says. And if you can’t do it right then, take good notes so you don’t forget its whisper.

What is your heart telling you these days?


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